FROM THE VIDEO:
BIPOLAR DISORDER: Relationship, Dating, or Breakup? (PLEASE WATCH):
“Here’s the thing… I know some of you out there have gone through the ringer with someone who has Bipolar Disorder. I’m so sorry that you had to experience the darker side of this illness. I know it can be really REALLY bad. Looking back, there’s no way I’d date the version of me in my 20’s… or even early 30’s… I was not the person I am today, and that’s part of the point I’ll get to.
I had to go through all the jobs lost, the relationships that failed, and the broken friendships to become who I am… I have a really hard time processing the guilt I feel for the relationships I trashed. For the collateral damage caused by my slow & stubborn growth process. At the same time, I’m so grateful for all the people – the good and the bad – that helped shape my path to better mental health by setting boundaries with me.
Not everyone does what I did. Not everyone changes. There are still people out there who aren’t taking their Bipolar treatment seriously and are causing a lot of suffering to those around them. I’m sure this is why I get these comments each week and my heart goes out to those people. With how amazing my current partnership (of almost a decade) is, I’d feel hurt if my partner went on social media and someone said “your partner is crazy and going to kill you someday.” Which was literally one of the comments I got on my channel.
Going back to the beginning of the video, we are not all the same. It would almost be as irresponsible as saying “I dated someone with diabetes and they were violent, so don’t ever date someone else with diabetes.” It’s just so stigmatizing and shaming to those of us with Bipolar Disorder. Especially the millions of us who are seeking treatment and trying to get better.
There’s also many people who have other things going on besides, or in conjunction with bipolar disorder…. They might have another co-occurring disorder or condition that directly impacts their bipolar symptoms. We are complicated creatures. To generalize that all people with bipolar are the same is not only ignorant, it’s perpetuates the same stigmas that people like me working so hard to fight.
If you had a bad experience and want to share it, share YOUR personal experience. It’s when you start to generalize that others will automatically go through the same thing that things get messy. If you went through something traumatizing, it’s an important part of the healing process to talk about it. Time and a place though… What do you expect to get back from the comment section on YouTube? Professional advice on how to move forward past the pain in your life?!?!?! I’m guessing it’s more along the lines of what I call “the emotional drive by” or aka “a social media pity party.”
If what you went through sucked, why not share what helped make it suck a little less? Maybe pass on a piece of advice a therapist gave you. That’s what’s going to help. That’s what’s going to change the conversation when it comes to mental health. Not blame and shame.
The next time you get behind a keyboard or camera, weather you have bipolar disorder or not, ask yourself if what you are about to do is going to help, or hurt another human being. Are you doing it just so YOU feel better, or do you have the community in mind?
We can all do better. We can all keep learning from each other and work together to stop the stigmatization of mental health. I really appreciate your time watching this video and I hope something I said resonated with you. My entire channel is dedicated to helping those impacted by bipolar disorder, so check out my playlists for other helpful videos. If you have any questions or want to connect with me directly, there’s a link in the video description.
Take good care and stop by Polar Warriors again soon for more videos. Stay well!”